I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
