My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
