he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
