never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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