so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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