you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
