OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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