that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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