Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
