This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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