please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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