THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
