Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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