I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
