I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
