do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
