is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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