You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize