how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize