Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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