It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
