My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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