I wish I could punch you in the face.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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