My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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