He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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