Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
