It's like a parade of train wrecks.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
