I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
