We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
