I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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