my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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