The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
