Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
