I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You pole danced in your parka.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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