was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
And then he peed in my hair
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