I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize