Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
