after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
