found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
