why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
