If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
