I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
