I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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