he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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