dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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