YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
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Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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