things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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