i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
