If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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