remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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