should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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