***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
