i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
