tell your sister to shave her snatch
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
