just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
