worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The dick lei will go down in squad history
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
