He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize