"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
