He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
