I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
