A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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